Thursday, 18 June 2009

Of newts and pigs

An article in the Leicester Mercury caught my eye:

Tha Government has paid back to our County Council £1.2m after the cost of the Earl Shilton by-pass spiralled. Part of the problem was down to great crested newts, a protected species. A Councillor explained that, beside being a long and difficult project:

"The newts are the reason that most people remember it. It was frustrating for us because they were not there when we started work.
Suddenly, there were signs of their presence and we had to stop. I'm still not sure if anyone actually saw a newt..."

How eerie, however did they get there; can it be that we have flying newts in Leicestershire?

Meanwhile, the full list of MP's expenses have now been published. Well, except that it's been censored as we knew it would be. MPs also appear to be a protected species and the public must be kept in the dark still about certain of their habitats, even though that will excite more speculation about the nature of the censored items and the porkers - sorry, MPs - who claimed for them.

When will they understand that none of them will be trusted, or wanted in government while they continue to regard the public as idiots?
Like the mysterious newt, pigs might fly...


Son-of-Sommevet said...

The following is a humorous poem I wrote that was published in the Hinckley Times. I hope you find it amusing. I live near the ring road and have newts in my garden every springtime for breeding.

Ode to an Eft - the only one left

I saw a Newt Oh! what a beaut’
looking so cute in his warty suit
Then just over there I saw another
Just like the first one, must be his brother
Peeping out from under their rock
Surveying the ring road, just taking stock

Despite what you think Newts are not mute
This pair were planning a change in the route
They eyed the labour all the men toiling
They saw a man his tape measure uncoiling
‘That man over there he seems at a loss
but he’s wearing a suit , he must be the boss’

Across went the Newt his great crest erect
‘I’m here to demand that you show some respect
You think I’m common, but I’m most astute
I’m no ordinary Newt,don’t act like a brute
you must stop the work, we have valid reason
We’re right in the middle of our breeding season

The machinery stopped its growling and grating
The newts carried on sublimely mating
The labour knocked off to draw the dole
What a wonderful thing the human soul
the ring road stood still, o’er valley and hill
the only thing rising, the enormous bill

Once more the Newt addressed the suit
‘Its time to end this amphibious dispute
to make the public aware of our cause
I order the contract should include a clause
to erect a great statue in a suit sewn from jute
of the truly magnificent Great Crested Newt’

Don’t worry about cost it just spoils the fun
we’ll hit them with that when everything’s done
don’t knock the form, stick to the norm
never mind targets or how you perform
the old mantras ring true, it goes without saying


Anonymous said...

The government "have paid back" !!!

Now just where does the government get "its" money

It cost £1.2 million to overcome the non existant newts (out of our
taxes) and now pays back £1.2 million (out of out taxes)

Does that mean that you and I have been robbed of £2.4 million ?